O O Ø O O O O
Lesson Learned
I live, I learn... eventually.
Once again, I have awoken halfway down a long, dark tunnel. I have stumbled through this tunnel, banging off the walls, tripping over debris, and skinning various body parts as I feel my way through the passage. It's dark, dank, and a little musty, but it's very familiar—I've been here before. This Thursday past, I finally saw the light at the end of this tunnel. Unfortunately, it was a freight train, coming right at me.
A load of 6,200, straight to the sternum. Owww.
I've been here before, and have been through much worse. Unless you knew me really well, you'd think I would learn to take a candle with me down the tunnel by now. Until now, I haven't learned anything. If I want to survive past my 40th, I think it's time to learn something about migrations. This past week was my wakeup call, and here's what I learned:
- Don't say “Fuck it, I'm outta here anyways” unless you've got a letter of offer in hand or are already outta here. Karma will come back and bitchsmack you otherwise.
- If your gut says “I don't think so, Tim”, you must listen to it. Always.
- Your vendor will always tell you what you want to hear. Pay attention to what they're really saying, especially when it's “We're not ready, but we know you want to go, so we're going in spite of our fear”.
- Read the assumptions. Assume no one else did.
- Identify all the people who could possibly be impacted. Call this group “everyone”. Keep them in the loop.
- Read the test plan. If there is nothing to read, there's a problem.
- Know when to say when. If something that should take 60 minutes is at 8 hours and counting, back out. The irritation caused by having to explain why you had to re-schedule something is much easier to handle than explaining what that big smoking crater is doing where your project used to be.
- Fatigue is the biggest harbinger of disaster.
- If you're still making changes in the twenty-four hours leading up to flipping the switch, you shouldn't flip the switch.
- Worry about what you can control. Deal with what you can't.
- Spelling counts. Especially with zonefiles.
- Make sure everyone is well rested and able to make rational decisions.
- Don't assume everyone is ready. Ask them to prove they are.
- E-mail is the root of all evil, not women.
- Have a plan B. Make sure it'll work. No, really, I'm serious.
- Spend a day dreaming up worst-case scenarios. Assume it will happen. Don't act surprised when it does.
- Do a dry run.
- Get the Project Managers to manage the project. Stay out of their space, you can't do their job better (and if you can, let it go, you've got enough on your plate)
- Assume no one will read anything you send them until after it's too late.
- Everything is fallible.
- A half-pound bag of peanut M&M's in half an hour will make you feel sick.
- When it's all over, a quadruple Cuba Libre is not a bad idea. In fact, it's a very good idea.
I will remember these lessons. No really, I will. The alternative is becoming too painful to deal with. Have I mentioned I hate the Internet?
Tuesday, Apr 27, 2004
PD DCIL