O O Ø O O O O
Howdy
On the skipping of Cowtown's greatest holiday...
So, you just got back into town after your carefully scheduled “get the hell out of Calgary during Stampede Week” vacation. Do you feel rested? Relaxed? Because I have a little something for you. Bend your ear a little closer. Closer. Good.
Get over yourself.
I’ve heard the objections a thousand times: I hate Stampede; nothing gets done this week anyway; cowboy hats look dumb; country music sucks; the traffic is bad; tourists bother me; I can’t park my ridiculously huge SUV anywhere downtown because all the parking lots are serving breakfast.
Seriously. Get over it.
... unless you happen to be an agoraphobic workaholic with a severe allergy to pancake batter.
I can’t for the life of me understand your objections, unless you happen to be an agoraphobic workaholic with a severe allergy to pancake batter. Yes, everyone wears cowboy garb and listens to country music. Yes, there is more eating and socializing going on than working. Yes, people come to the city to take in the spectacle. Yes, your car is too damned big. But so what?
The fact is, Stampede can be a heck of a lot of fun, once you remember to remove the stick from your, er, craw.
It’s also a legitimate reason to start drinking at breakfast time.
Let’s start with the breakfasts. No, the food is not necessarily that good, but that’s not the point now, is it? Stampede breakfasts are a chance to socialize with your customers, friends, co-workers, and fellow Calgarians. (If you have really good friends, customers, or co-workers, then it’s also a legitimate reason to start drinking at breakfast time, but I digress).
And the cowboy garb? Just shut up and wear it. Don’t give me that “silly” nonsense. All of fashion is silly. If you look around, everyone is wearing it. Isn’t the “style of clothing that people are wearing” the very definition of fashion? Besides which, people can genuinely look good wearing it. (No, not that guy wearing the domed flower-print thing direct from the 70s, but honestly, have you seen what he wears the rest of the year?)
And my favourite rant: “I hate going down to the Grounds, because it’s always the same.”
You’re not even trying, are you?
... deep-fried mac and cheese on a stick ...
There’s not a single year that goes by when I don’t manage to find something new and surprising down at the Stampede grounds; be it an art exhibit, heavy horse pulls at the agro dome, circus acts, meeting ex-stampede Queens at ground level during the rodeo, playing the games, watching the show, riding the rides, gambling in the casino, eating those little donuts, finally trying the Bannock, exploring Indian Village, people-watching in the beer tent, deep-fried mac and cheese on a stick, keggers in the show barn, milking a mock cow, watching a sheep shearing, snoozing on the riverbank to the sounds of the midway, superdogs, sneaking into the grounds via the barns, or listening to the crap-hawkers hawk their crap in the Big 4. The point is, Stampede is never the same twice, and if you can’t find something interesting down on the grounds, then you’re just not looking.
So, give it up. Relax. Enjoy Stampede. It’s what your city is all about. It’s like a 10-day-long weekend, and you don’t hate weekends, do you?
No wait, you probably do.
Ah well, you can’t reach everyone.
Kjell Wooding | 2004-07-20 | Permanent Link
Kjell Wooding
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
PD DCLXI