O O Ø O O O O
Ivory Tower
So you're looking for a dietician? You probably don’t want this one.
A couple of weeks ago, I happened to be looking for someone to give a nutrition talk to a half marathon running class I happen to be teaching. As we all know, the nutrition industry is largely filled with loons and snake oil vendors ready and willing to suck every last dollar out of a well-intentioned demographic. Me, I wanted to do something a bit different. With the Olympics on the horizon, and a bit of a soft spot for academia, I went looking for a sports nutrition centre, to see if they could direct me to someone reputable.
“I go to a university,” I thought, “maybe I could look there.”
The following is a copy of the correspondence that followed.
The Innocent-Seeming Query
From: kj
To: <Highly Visible Dietician>
Sent: Thursday, August 12, 2004 11:58 AM
Subject: Sports Nutrition speakerHi <Highly Visible Dietician>. I found your name on the Coaching Association of Canada's Web site.
I’m the instructor for a half-marathon running class currently being offered at one of the <insert running store name here> stores in Calgary, and I'm currently in the hunt for someone who can speak to my burgeoning half-marathoners about sports nutrition.
The problem is, most of the speakers we’ve had in the past have been, well, terrible. Typically, they fall into three camps:
- The supplement vendors
- The food guide worshippers.
- Utter loons.
Now, I personally have no problem with the first two approaches, (in moderation), but they seem to avoid talking about the basic nutrition issues facing runners while they train.
So I was wondering: do you know of anyone who might be able to give a 20-minute talk to a group of half marathoners on the subject of sports nutrition on a Thursday night in South Calgary? (yourself included, of course)
It’s not a paid gig. (Well, you do get a 30% off coupon for store merchandise, which is actually kind of nice). But there are definitely some spin-off benefits, like runners desperate for a dietician knowing what your name is.
Please let me know, or at least point me in the right direction.
Thanks!
-kj
Now, most of a week went by before I received a reply to this one. Having gone through the exact same (no reply) experience the last several times I have taught running clinics, I decided to bite the bullet and just give the damn talk myself. After all, reading a book and several conference proceedings on sports nutrition is more than enough qualification to call myself a nutritionist in six of the ten provinces.
Ironically, several hours after giving the talk, I found this little item in my inbox.
The Reply
From: <Highly Visible Dietician>
To: kj
Subject: Re: Sports Nutrition speaker
Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004 23:03:17 -0600Hi KJ,
I have probably been approached by <insert running store name here> running groups about 10 times now, and they don’t seem to get it. If they expect a “nutrition expert” to volunteer, then they will get “supplement vendor”, “food guide worshippers”, and “utter loons” who know little about nutrition, let alone nutrition for runners.
I would love to work with your running group, but when you consider prep, resources (handouts), travel, and presentation time a 30% discount is peanuts for professionals. Do <insert running store name here> staff work for a mere 30% discount as their pay?
Sorry to sound so negative.
I do have an idea. Why not get the runners themselves to pool their resources, say $10 a head? My rates are $150/hr, which could be covered by 15 runners. Just a thought. Good luck!
<Highly Visible Dietician>, MSc, R.D.
A Certain Sport Medicine Centre,
Calgary
All right. This one got me riled. After all, I work in the Ivory Tower that is academia every day, and I’ve been fighting the “academics just don’t get the real world” stigma for years. Now, here we have a supposed professional operating in my very back-yard demonstrating just how clueless the tower denizens can be. Pass on a lucrative marketing opportunity? Flip off a potential customer, and his room-full of potential clients? Play the “professionals don’t stoop to your level” card?
It is one thing to say you are busy. It is quite another to insult a potential client. I deal with athletics professionals on a regular basis, and I don’t recall having been blown off in this insulting a manner before.
Thanks
To: <Highly Visible Dietician>
From: kj
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 07:10:39 -0600
Subject: Re: Sports Nutrition speakerMs. <Highly Visible Dietician>
I have probably been approached by <insert running store name here> running groups about 10 times now, and they don’t seem to get it. If they expect a "nutrition expert" to volunteer, then they will get "supplement vendor", "food guide worshippers", and "utter loons" who know little about nutrition, let alone nutrition for runners.
I apologize for the presumption. Perhaps you could add that information to your web site. It may cut down on the number of clinic instructors who contact you. In reference to my actual query, however, am I to infer that you do not know of anyone who might be willing to give such a talk?
I would love to work with your running group, but when you consider prep, resources (handouts), travel, and presentation time a 30% discount is peanuts for professionals. Do <insert running store name here> staff work for a mere 30% discount as their pay?
No. They get a mere 38% discount. Oh, and 7 bucks an hour. Of course, when you consider travel time, time spent at races, clinic/run club volunteering, and other extracurricular gigs, the pay drops off to pretty much nothing.
I guess that leaves the mere discount.
Sorry to sound so negative.
Sorry to be such an imposition.
I do have an idea. Why not get the runners themselves to pool their resources, say $10 a head? My rates are $150/hr, which could be covered by 15 runners. Just a thought. Good luck!
I had a better one. Direct the instructor to somebody willing to give a 20 minute talk on nutrition, and give a room of 30 runners, their friends, and their families the chance to become future clients, each at $150/hr.
Or blow off the clinic instructor in an insulting manner, and burn that bridge entirely.
Thank-you for your time.
<Highly Visible Dietician>, MSc, R.D.
A Certain Sport Medicine Centre
Calgary
Kjell Wooding, B.Eng., M.Sc.
A Certain University
Calgary
And so now, having had a few days to stew about the experience, I have decided to do the right thing. Ms. <Highly Visible Dietician> is right. She is a professional, and does not deserve to be bothered by the likes of me, or my fellow instructors.
Epilogue
To: <Highly Visible Dietician>
From: kj
Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 11:59:00 -0600
Subject: Re: Sports Nutrition speakerMs. <Highly Visible Dietician>
I’ve had a couple of days to think about it, and I have come to the conclusion that you are right. Professionals of your calibre should not be bothered by clinic instructors (such as I) seeking freebies. As such, I have forwarded a copy of our correspondence to the <insert running store name here> management. I am fairly confident that no clinic instructors will be contacting you in the foreseeable future.
Good luck in your endeavors.
Kjell Wooding
Pint Day of the Beast
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
PD DCLXVI
cc: <insert running store name here>, pintday.org