RTFM

Kjell Wooding | 2004-11-16 | Permanent Link

This is why I never read manuals.

Ooh boy. New monitor. Lessee. What’s in the box?

Hm. Guess that passes for a manual. Let’s have a look.

Read Me Before Installation

1. Due to the technological limitation in the manufacturing process, the pixel in the LCD panel of this product may look brighter or darker than normal by 1 PPM. This does not affect the performance of the product.

Oh good. It’s written by a native English speaker. (sigh)

"The technological limitation," eh? If there’s only one, wonder why they don’t fix it?

Wonder what the hell PPM is. Parts Per Million? Pixel Per Minute? Perky Paper Mauler?

2. When you clean the monitor and the panel outside, please apply the recommended small amount of cleaner by using soft and dry cloth and polish it.

Outside? What do I need to do if I want to clean it inside? Who uses an LCD panel outside, anyway?

3. If you are not satisfied with the quality of picture, you can get better quality of picture by executing “Auto Adjustment Function.”

Hmm. Not very automatic if I have to execute it myself. Wonder how the hell I execute it? As a matter of fact, wonder how I execute anything? There’s only one button on this damned monitor, and it’s an on/off button.

Uh oh...

Oh come on. I can’t be the only person in the world who doesn’t run Windows all the time. You mean I have to....

For the love of...

Of course they don’t mention this in the Quick Start guide. Where’s the Internet? Ah. Here we go.

The 193P marks a milestone for Samsung; a step away from their traditionally strong OSD. In fact, Samsung eliminated completely their OSD in the conventional sense. Instead of controlling the contrast, brightness and color regulation via controls on the LCD, Samsung has opted to transition the entire control panel into a software package (MagicTune).

Ooh. This can’t be good for us Unix users. And this is the monitor that consistently gets reviews with statements like "Cons: None."? Unbelievable.

Speaking of Unix, where are the specs? I need to set this up under X.

No specs? You have got to be kidding me. But wait, there are Linux installation instructions. Oh, this should be educational.

Linux Installation

To execute X-Window, you need to make the X86Config file, which is a type of system setting file.

Oh, that can’t be a good start. Getting the right filename is apparently optional. (It’s actually called XF86Config. And "X-Windows" for that matter.)

1) Press Enter at the first and second screen after executing the X86Config file.

Er, you can’t actually execute a configuration file. Do they mean xf86config, perhaps? There’s a rather significant difference in a case-sensitive file system. Sort of like the difference between ‘Launch ’Control Panel’” and “Launch ‘Compton Placebo’” in Windows.

2. The third screen is for setting your mouse.

3. Set a mouse for your computer

4. The next screen is for selecting a keyboard

5. Set a Keyboard for your computer

Well, actually, the second screen is for the mouse. As are the next three. But eventually, there is a keyboard screen, yes. We’ll just read “the next screen is for” to mean “eventually you will get to a screen that is for...”

6. The next screen is for setting your monitor.

True. Except for the intervening screens that aren’t. But now I’m just getting picky.

7. First of all, set a horizontal frequency for your monitor. (You can enter the frequency directly.)

Ah! Finally to the meat of the matter! The Horizonal frequency! This is why I opened the book in the first place, because as everyone who’s ever configured X-Windows before knows, you need the horizontal and vertical frequencies for your monitor!

Except it doesn’t tell me what they are,

Oh, for the love of...

No useful information whatsoever? And you taunt me by hinting that I can enter it directly?

8.Set a vertical frequency for your monitor (You can enter the frequency directly.)

You people are cruel. Cruel.

Enter the model name of your monitor. This information will not affect the actual execution of X-Window.

Because if you have relied on the instructions thus far, your installation will not be working at all.

You have finished setting up your monitor. Execute X-Window after setting other requested hardware.

Last I checked, I hadn’t even started setting up my monitor. Is there anything else in this useful “Quick Start Guide?”

Setting the Refresh rate

The higher Refresh rate is, the better the resolution becomes

Oh that’s rich. And here I thought that more pixels made for higher resolutions. Turns out it’s how fast you put them on the screen...

... However, this can be limited by the capacity of the system. Recommended Rate: 75Hz (If the maximum resolution is applied, set the refresh rate at less than 60Hz)

Applied? Applied to what? Less than 60? I’ve never seen an LCD set to anything less than 60. I still don’t know what’s supposed to be applied here. What the hell are they trying to say here?

An inappropriate Refresh rate may fatigue your eyes.

Finally, a statement that is actually true. In fact, after 45 minutes of digging about on the Internet, and getting this wonderful piece of technology to work—without any help from the (ahem) fine manual—the bizarrely low refresh rate is enough to make my eyes bleed.

Manuals? Feh. No wonder nobody ever reads the damn things. I'll start RTFM’ing when they start WAFM’ing.

Kjell Wooding

Tuesday, November 16, 2004
PD DCLXXVIII

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