500 Words About 20 People

A score of hit ’n’ runs.

Evan Spence | 2004-12-21

  1. Jim Dinning, the unsung hero who slew Alberta’s deficit and paved the way for Canada’s fiscal salvation, will be the next premier of Alberta.
  2. As long as the producers understand that the story is really about the General Lee, Jessica Simpson will make a perfectly acceptable Daisy Duke.
  3. Hawksley Workman is the new Leonard Cohen. And a guitar-hero Leonard Cohen at that.
  4. Darryl Sutter: hockey genius.
  5. The person who writes the text for the Lee Valley Tools catalogue needs to be told that they are truly loved, and they must never stop.
  6. Kerry = Bush = Clinton = Whichever fool comes next.
  7. Québec separatist Gilles Duceppe is the most charismatic and well spoken politician in Canada, and I’d vote for him in a second if I thought voting for anyone except a libertarian wasn’t worse than not voting at all. (And if I lived in Québec.)
  8. Jarome Iginla is arguably the greatest Calgary hockey player, a spectacular public person, my favourite Flame (with a bullet), and an NHLPA mule.
  9. Gary Bettman is the Count from Sesame Street.
  10. It’s past time for Ani DiFranco to put together an album that isn’t self-indulgent drivel. Or at least an album of live self-indulgent drivel with decent recording levels.
  11. Hillary Clinton would never be able to beat Schwarzenegger
  12. Give Donald Trump credit for sticking with his hair.
  13. It’s funny. When you stop working in that sort of environment, Scott Adam’s previously exquisite satire, Dilbert, loses much of its charm.
  14. Chris Bangle has systematically destroyed the dignity of BMW’s entire current model lineup. And yes, that includes the often erroneously lauded 645CI Coupe.
  15. It’s like Steve Earle’s entire career has been one long progression toward the release of The Revolution Starts Now. It’s every bit as good as Green Day’s American Idiot. Like best-of-genre good.
  16. If Jacob Nielsen really is the web’s usability expert, then could someone please explain to me why his website is so confusing? The pd.o is far from perfect (mystical taxonomy, complete lack of search) but at least we’ve got a big ol’ H1 header at the top of each page to help you out.
  17. Marcella Hazan and her book Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking have measurably improved my life. I measure it to be 1.5% better.
  18. Is it me, or has Jeopardy lost its edge since Ken Jennings was defeated? (Ken, I totally missed that H&R Block final question too. Seems obvious now though, doesn’t it?)
  19. Mr. Henry Ford, III, we all see through your publicity ruse. Yes, you have a crunchy-granola green roof on your River Rouge plant. You’re still producing massive SUVs under that roof. Hypocrite!
  20. Finally, thank you for flying pintday.org. We know you have plenty of caustic internet sites to get through each week, and we’re glad you joined us for a beer and a rant. Also, thanks for not buying an SUV in 2004.

Evan Spence

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
PD DCLXXXIII

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