Alligator Questions

This week's rant is filler of the worst kind. Still, with the pd.o networks moving to a new home, and both of the Pint Boys subsumed in an orgy of back-to-school activities, you have to be amazed we posted any new content at all.

kj · September 4, 2001 · Republished May 12, 2009

Alligator Question is a phrase I first heard during a basketball refereeing seminar. As you can imagine, being a basketball referee involves a rather intimate knowledge of the rules of basketball. This knowledge must extend to a variety of rare, but possible what-if scenarios. As time goes on, these scenarios—usually posed in the form of audience questions—become increasingly ludicrous. When the questions got particularly inane, the course instructor would often quip back:

What if an alligator pops up through the floor…

At this point, the attendee would realize that they had just asked an alligator question.

Where is this leading? The following are bullet points from our minutes of a Codetalker Communications shareholder-agreement meeting. These are admittedly excerpts, but isn’t it hard to believe Codetalker isn’t one of the Fortune 500 now?

  1. Death and dismemberment
  2. Phillipines — Six wives
  3. Kjell sells his desk
  4. Chris declared insane
  5. Sex changes?
  6. Can I still vote if I clobber Evan’s mom?

What’s the lesson? Committees are a good way to achieve fairness and compromise. You keep compromising until everyone is equally unhappy.

kj · PDDXI

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