Yoda Lives!
Everybody's favourite banker returns for more abuse.
If you’re just tuning in, you had better first check out the back story to these postings. Start by reading my letter to George W. Bush, then enjoy these totally random emails from the unwitting contributor we’ve taken to calling ‘Yoda.’ You’ll see why.
Date: Saturday, February 2,
2002
From: Randy Wooding <randywooding@yahoo.com>
Subject: Reply.
Recently, I was browsing the internet and lo and behold I came across our private transmissions about the letter to our President.
You must have way too much time on your hands. My careers [sic] in banking is none of your concern. Furthermore, this address is for my personal use.
My connection to the Cabinet in Washington is also not of your concern.
Good day.
Randy T. Wooding
Date: Monday, February 5,
2002
From: Evan Spence
Subject: Re: Reply.
Howdy, Mr. Wooding. After a few months off, we had begun to think you had left us for good. Not so! If you stumbled across our “transmissions” you were probably doing a web search on yourself, yes? A little vain perhaps, but sometimes quite fun. You’ll be happy to know a search on the term “Randy Wooding” on both Google and Yahoo will lead you straight back to the pd.o. And that’s really no surprise, because our previous Mailbag piece is one of our most popular pages. You’re a star! As for your concerns, please let me address them in sequence.
First, what ever gave you the idea our communications were private? We published an open letter on an open web server, and you sent us an unsolicited opinion. Sounds like fair fodder to me. Perhaps you should read the pd.o terms of use.
Second, it’s not that we have a lot of time on our hands, it’s that we choose to judiciously spend our Tuesdays in deep contemplation of beer, rants, and boot sectors. You have to make time for the important stuff, Mr. Wooding. You would fall under the category of rant.
As for your alleged career in international banking being none of our concern, all I can say is you brought it up. The same goes for your alleged connections to the Bush administration, with the added caveat that not only did you bring them up, you actually threatened us with them. To wit:
“Therefore, I warn you now, I hold great power and authority in the United States and other nations abroad, and will seek to find you if you continue such behavior. I will not tolerate such activities that you originate [sic]. Futhermore [sic] a copy of this e-mail and letter you sent will be forwarded to local authorities and the FBI.”
Now, we’re generally pacifists, but we also subscribe to a policy of no quarter in the face of aggression directed toward us. So let me now be perfectly clear, since you seem to have no concept of satire, or tongue-in-cheek humour. You wrote a mocked-up email making pseudo-menacing comments. How did we react? We responded point by point, publicly. You took us up on that, piling on with more comments such as “You at this time would have no idea what that is because you are not in the international banking sector.” We replied, but you never answered our two most pointed questions:
Why is the FBI in the pocket of an alleged international banker? [and]…why would a banker be in the pay of the FBI?
So now you’re back. We’re happy to have you, but please don’t act indignant, and don’t play hurt.
Most of all, don’t ever comment on our grammar.
P.S. How’s school in Illinois, Mr. Banker?
ev · PDDXXXIII
March 23rd, 2010 at 11:05 pm
JAJAJAJAA!!! Oh this is EPIC