O O Ø O O O O
Stuff I’d Like to See
So we’re a little more than two weeks into the new year, and I’ve been thinking about how we’ve come to accept mediocrity, stupidity, selfishness, and incompetence in our lives. We put up with a lot, and don’t expect anything to change. Occasionally we gripe about it, but that’s the extent of it. In that spirit, I present some things I’d like to see this year, but am not holding my breath for, nor will I really put any effort into changing.
I’d like to see Paul Martin reply to any question on the budget, legislation, trade partners, the economy, healthcare, or his cabinet with a simple, direct answer. Instead of trying to appease everyone because he’s the head of a minority government from an election he had the brilliance to call, I’d love to hear him give the straight goods just once. Maybe people would actually have a little respect for him if he showed something other than the political compass of a wind vane, the backbone of Jimmy Carter, and the enunciative skills of Bob Dylan.
I’d like the NHL and the NHLPA to quit trying to talk to me and the rest of the fans, and focus on each other. There’s no way either group can convince me to take sides, as their actions show they could give a rat’s ass about me. They’re all a bunch of greedy bastards and hypocrites. If they really cared about the game they’d quit giving sound bytes and rhetoric to the media and actually talk to each other with the door closed until they worked it out or agreed to disband the league. I wonder if they notice that the majority of their revenue base isn’t rallying in the streets, and the only folks who are really missing the game are the beer companies, puck companies, and sportscasters.
I’d like to see Ontario Power Generation finish a project on-time and on-budget. You’d think a “company” that was already holding it’s customer base responsible for $45 billion worth of bad decisions, mis-management, and poor government oversight over the past two decades would understand a thing or two about cost control. Unfortunately, they seem to like going over budget and schedule anytime any thing needs to be fixed, and never hold the companies providing the estimates to their word. They’re claiming they’re going to do it with the restart of the second A reactor this time around, but I’ll believe it when I see it. P.S. to their procurement group: There’s this really cool thing called fixed price contracts - try them out, they make it easier to control costs, you’ll just have to do a little more work in spec’ing the requirements. Don’t forget independent auditors and work inspectors—I want good value for money, but I don’t want it at the cost of another Chernobyl.
I’d love to see the City of Ottawa take a good, hard look at the one thing they refuse to examine while preparing the budget for next year - themselves. Why is it so hard to take a look at why it takes four or more groups to approve a $50.00 repair? The administrative overhead you run is staggering, and maybe if you actually fired all the people you were supposed to in the amalgamation a few years ago instead of leaving the trough out, you wouldn’t have to raise taxes yet again.
I’d like all you moms out there with your strollers to realise that the stroller is not a weapon, and that I need somewhat more than three inches of space on the sidewalk to get by. It’s not your sidewalk, and just because you happen to be pushing your kid around in the SUV of strollers does not give you the right to run me into the street while glaring at me for having the gall to try and use the same sidewalk you’re on. Keep it up, and some day someone is going to smack that look you give when they expect a modicum of common courtesy from you right off your face.
I’d still like the cops to actually enforce the speed limit in front of my house. Thanks for the traffic light, but when it’s green the idiots are still doing ninety. Can I install my own speed bump? If nothing else, it’d be fun to watch the sparks fly when that guy’s 760 bottoms out.
I’d like Electronic Arts to quit acting like a playground bully. Oracle is not a company you want to emulate, for reasons which should become a lot clearer in about eighteen months. Avoid the rush and the pain now. Treat your staff like humans, give your customers the ability to buy your product because it’s the best game in town and not the only one, and quit lying like a rug about your “investment strategies”. I’ll be staying as far away from you as possible as a customer until you learn to play nice.
It’d be nice to see my senior management take a good hard look at our group, and realise just how bad things are. When you spend all your time on what’s shiny and new and coming down the pipe, and forget about all the other things like, say… your people, it will eventually slap you upside the head. Talk to your team, help them overcome the challenges they face, and pay attention to the business that is funding the development. I’m actually in a happy place, but I know of a bunch of folks who will bolt at the first opportunity, and those opportunities are picking up again.
I’d like coop and shaver to update their blogs more. They write purty, just not often enough.
I’d love to finish installing my mail system. Who knew Postfix, DSPAM, and Courier-IMAP with a common MySQL backend and virtual users would be such a pain in the ass (besides my users). Forty hours of effort, and I’m soooooo close, but it still doesn’t do quite what I want it to. I suppose I should just move everyone any ways, which would provide extra incentive to find a permanent solution. Yay technology from multiple sources kludged together!
All of these things seem perfectly reasonable on the face of it, but past experiences lead me to believe none of them will happen, and that’s too bad.
Kev Needham
January 19, 2005
OOØOOOODCLXXXVII