O O Ø O O O O
And They’re Off
Courtesy is dead. We have reached a point where even crossing the street is a competition.
As we approach the street corner with a red light, we immediately start to jockey for position with those around us. Who gets the coveted middle spot? Who’s on the outer edge closest to the street (the brave soul willing to risk the twit making a late right turn)? Who gets the inside spot crammed next to the pole, paper box or other object intended solely to impede the crossing?
Those of us in a hurry—and that’s about 80% of people nowadays—start to eye the lights. Our eyes dart rapidly between the moving traffic, the light sequence and the vehicles trying to turn. Of course only vehicles have the right of way when we’re waiting at a red light. We lowly pedestrians have to wait our turn. But that doesn’t stop the buildup of anticipation. Hey wait— is that a break in traffic? Should I go? It’s no longer a matter of should we jaywalk, it’s a matter of when can we jaywalk. Is ourr judgment of traffic and moving objects so good that we’re willing to throw ourselves into the middle of the street? When did we lose our collective sanity? Don’t we get more careful as we grow older?
Fools. They probably have driver’s licenses as well, and if that doesn’t scare you, it should!
We’ve become horses jockeying at the gate. The added twist: horses are lined up on the other side of the street waiting to race head-on, battling for the same street space we are all meant to share. The light changes to amber (is it really amber?—a brownish yellow?) and a couple of false starts take place. One of us dashes out, and some poor sheep more intent on his nails or the derriere of the person beside them catches the movement in his periphery and automatically steps forward as well. It’s surprising that more people aren’t killed this way. Fools. They probably have driver’s licenses as well, and if that doesn’t scare you, it should!
Another false starter makes a go and at the last second they notice a vehicle anxiously trying to turn right to avoid the impending delay. Confusion abounds and the light goes green. The driver jams the brakes, and the horses lunge from the gates. The two charges rush toward each other stoically refusing to budge and change their path. Who will give? Who’s the submissive?
Unlike two flocks of birds that magically fly through each other, when humans cross the street it’s more like mules butting heads. Assuming neither of us are talking on the phone or playing with our PDAs, we’ll pause face to face, fire off some neurons, then move variously sideways or forward—hopefully not in the same direction—and eventually mule our way across the finish line. (If human intelligence can barely figure this out at pedestrian speeds, do we really want computers doing this for us in our cars?)
We’re across, but not without feelings of annoyance, or maybe anger. “I’m crossing the street, get out of my way!” Sidewalks are bad enough with the chaos and absence of lanes to walk in. Street crossing now resembles the likes of a major crossroad à la Thailand or India.
Only a staunch video gamer has the skills to take it all in and process it in milli-seconds.
Street crossing has always been a wild game of chicken, and the city of Calgary has decided to add a level of difficulty to the game: countdown timers. Yes, on some street corners not only do we have all the input to absorb like a fighter pilot checking radar, HUD while looking out the window, but now there’s a clock as well. That’s one more piece of information to evaluate for those of us with the processing power of a Commodore Vic 20. Only a staunch video gamer has the skills to absorb and process it in milliseconds. But the new timer, intended to give us slow pack animals a better chance at crossing the street safely, has increased the risk of the old game. “can I make it before the light turns red?”
Up until now, those of us with jackrabbit reflexes would dart into an intersection as the light changes, scanning traffic in the process and somehow cross the street before traffic flow changed—usually resulting in a near miss and a ticked off driver. Now our brains stall on the new timers for a second, attempting the complex spatial calculations involving multiple traffic vectors, wind speed, glare, road conditions and Einstein’s space-time variable. The timers don’t stop us from jackrabbiting the light, they just make the process tougher and increase the risk of injury and traffic snarl.
We all need to slow down and show a little courtesy. Crossing the street in Calgary will soon match the experience of New York, where herds numbering in the hundreds cross against the light, ignoring oncoming traffic and the others around them. Calgarians have a chance to stop the anarchy before it’s too late. This is a race where we don’t have to come in first. We’re bad enough as drivers. The last thing we need are pedestrians with invincibility complexes crossing against the lights.
Dave “Bighair” Wilson
March 1, 2005
OOØOOOODCXCIII
July 23rd, 2005 at 1:52 pm
Bighair,
I have to agree with you. As a professional 5ton driver, Calgary has become the “New” New York. Getting from one point to another in the Cowtown has become dangerous at best. And to add to the confusion City Hall issues building and road closer permits like they are guns at a drive by. Whether you are a pedestrian or driver common courtesy goes a long way but is rarely seen or acknowledged. I drive and walk these streets and sometimes I am afraid for my life and yours.
Yours in sympathy,
Compix