O O Ø O O O O
Share the Road
Ahhh… spring. The snow’s melting, the skies are grey from the fourteen inches of rain we got last week, the smell of rotting vegetable matter is in the air, the potholes are big enough to swallow your car, and you’re starting to think of playing whack-fuck again and finally breaking 100. It teases us with weather that we call “warm”, while everyone sane knows it’s really just a hair above freezing.
We don’t really care that it’s not baking, because it’s no longer below freezing. It’s all about the awaking of the world from its slumber under the snow and ice. Leaves bud, flowers blossom, and you realise that Spot sure ate a lot this winter, as evidenced by your back yard. Colour creeps back in, bock is sold once again at the soda pop shoppe, and all kinds of creatures awaken from hibernation. Unfortunately, those creatures include the Urban Cyclist, one of the few things I truly loathe about spring.
I was reminded of these bothersome pests this morning as I drove to pick up a coffee. The light was green, I entered the intersection, and one of these intelligent creatures went whipping through the intersection. I hit the brakes to avoid contact, and was rewarded for my troubles with a glare, a wobble, and a raised middle finger backed up by shouting. I’m sure the shouting had something to do with my lineage and “sharing the road.”
I’m sick of this creature, and I’m sick of sharing the road with them because they don’t share back. They run red lights, don’t signal changes, take risks that should allow Darwinism to flourish if only auto pilot s were not held accountable for the cyclists actions, and have a mouth worse than any drunken sailor—or friend of mine—I know. They can do no wrong, and if anything should happen that would cause them to slow down or use an ounce of common sense, they wax poetic about how cars and their drivers almost killed them, are a menace, and should be drawn and quartered.
They forget it goes both ways.
I’m so tired of the “Share the Road” campaigns and signs. They always target car drivers, and never target cyclists. The cyclists piss and moan every year about how cars almost kill them, and then hop on the sidewalk and just about run over anyone there. How about something for these creatures that explains they’re not the only all that? It should include helpful pointers like:
- Those flashing lights on the back of the car in front of you means the car is going to turn to the side the light is flashing on. It is not an invitation to ride along that side of the car and then scream at the driver when it actually turns.
- Those bipedal life forms on the concrete slabs adjacent to the asphalt surface you should be riding on are called “people”. They are not pylons that you speed around or try to get as close to as possible without actually hitting.
- Those red octagonal things and the red lights you see time to time in intersections mean “stop”, and your fancy toe clips are not a magic pass that allows you to ignore them. The rules of the road apply to you, too.
- Just because you’re wearing biking shorts doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wear underwear. No one wants to see you pitch your tent during rush hour—we already know how enthusiastic you are about cycling.
- If you’re driving close enough to a parked car that a door opening will take you out, you might want to pay a little more attention or ride a little farther away. It might also not be unreasonable to expect you to have a look at the occupants in the car that just parked and may be opening the door shortly.
- You’re not on a racing team, no matter how many logos of companies that don’t sponsor you are on your shirt.
A guide like this, followed by a swift kick to the padded area of the biking shorts for effect, might just make the Urban Cyclist realise they’re not the only things on the road. If not, I think a gentle nudge into the path of an oncoming H2 is in order. Don’t you?
Here’s to another summer of self-righteous twits on bikes making life miserable for drivers on the road and pedestrians on the sidewalks (the category I fall into), while never being held accountable for riding like a loon. I can’t wait.
Kev Needham
April 5, 2005
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April 7th, 2005 at 5:38 am
i think the self righteous attitude of the Urban Cyclist(tm) stems from the belief that they’re doing something to the environment and car drivers aren’t… hence the h8.
April 7th, 2005 at 8:22 am
(As a cyclist, and also a driver…)
Actually I think most of the problems of the Urban Cyclist are about education. I’m not against a cycling permit.
1) People who run up the short side of someone turning are usually not “aggressive” enough to take the outside.
Assuming of course that, the driver turned on their flicker early enough for me to see it, (cause I can’t see it if I’m already past it), or they turned it on at all (HELLO QUEBEC! I’M SPEAKING TO YOU!), then I go the long side. If the loser drivers haven’t given me enough space to go outside, I brake.
(in Ontario I’m entitled to a full lane, Quebec, who’s got the guts???)
2) I take the sidewalk when the road is too dangerous - usually for me that means the wintertime. If I’m on the sidewalk, I slow to the speed of pedestrians, because, Speed doesn’t kill, delta-speed kills.
But let me tell you, I’m way more careful than most pedestrians are, as a cyclist and as a pedestrian, because pedestrians don’t give a damn about anyone else around them. I’ve had someone’s dog jump in front of me, on a bike path, forcing me into a head-on collision with another innocent sap coming the other way. The responsible party not only didn’t stop, they didn’t stop their dog from jumping out at the next cyclist.
3) I don’t blow stop signs, I don’t go in front of drivers with the Right Of Way, but I don’t come to a full stop. Why? Because I CAN come to a full stop easily, because I don’t have blind-spots, and because I’m willing to take my life in my hands.
4) I got gitch.
5) I almost got nailed twice on the same ride in by someone opening the door without looking. Both of these people had been sitting in the car for a period of time that there was no way I could no they were in there.
It is the DRIVER’S RESPONSIBILITY to make sure it is safe to open their door. I’m not riding on the sidewalk, I’m riding in the road, and whether its me or a car, your door is gonna get smashed.
That being said, it’s small comfort if you do get nailed. Cyclists would be better off learning how to control the lane, and how to not zigzag in and out empty spots so that they are or can move in a safe position when someone does open their door.
7) I’m racing for my life. If you think the cyclists in Ottawa are racing, you should see the fscking drivers in Montreal, all of them Jacques Villeneuve wannabes.
Seriously, while drivers encase themselves in thicker and better armour, their cars, all I’ve got is my helmet, some elementary knowledge about how to fall (let the pedal, handlebars and shoulders take it) and my brains and eyes and ears.
Frankly I’d rather have more bikes than cars on the road. Because then at least, if people are as stupid as they want to be, fewer people are going to get killed. And those who do are darwin-bait anyways.
But then I also think people should have a walking permit. (Or some should not, specifically).
April 7th, 2005 at 8:24 am
A small point occurs to me, those who are riding well, you won’t notice. Those who ride poorly are going to stick out.
April 7th, 2005 at 3:54 pm
Understand, I know full well that I am painting a very wide swath for a very small percentage of the folks who ride. I have no problem with most folks who ride… it’s the nazis with the racing jerseys that drive me insane, because they’re the ones who ignore every single driving law when it’s convenient, and are constantly bitching about drivers.
Most people ride reasonably well, similarly, most people drive reasonably well (unless you’re in Quebec or Minne-fucking-apolis). It’s the poor ones you always hear about on both sides of the coin. My point was that if you’re on the road, you have to be aware of your surroundings, and not assume that the rules are going to be followed. If we did that, we’d all get creamed.
I have noticed an uptick in the poor cycling habits as it becomes more popular, however. I also agree that it’s the car occupant’s responsibility to be aware when they open their doors, but there are limits (like on a quad lane road with marked parking spots, there’s no reason to hug the cars - atypical of Montreal, I concede).
Totally agree on the sidewalk theory, but not too many people I see follow that example. I don’t think an 8-year old kid has any business driving neatr a major road, which means not only shouldn’t they be on the sidewalk, but they shouldn’t be on the road, either. I also think that cyclists should always cede right of way on the sidewalk - most don’t. Since you’re not supposed to be on them in the first place, I don’t think the pedestrian should have to expect cyclists, but common sense dictates they should.
I also agree that it’s mostly education and enforcement. If you’re gonna ride on a primary or secondary road, you need to prove you know what you’re doing. It also wouldn’t hurt to ticket folks (other than on the sparks street mall) for moving violations (or riding at night wearing black clothing, no reflectors, and no lights) on a regular basis, so people think about it.
I just get irritated because of all the money they spend on “Share the road” signs, and the invariable news story that has the angry cyclist with his $400 racing outfit who can’t even signal a left-hand turn. THere are also a lot worse drivers - one of the big reasons I’m leaving where I am now is because of all the idiots who do 80 down my 50 street just because it’s rush hour. There are four schools in a2 mile stretch. That’s scary.
So again, wide brush for a small group. Unfortunately, that’s stereotypes for you, and I was pissed at the idiot in the morning who I almost killed because they weren’t paying attention.
What’s gitch got to do with it, anyways? ;)
April 11th, 2005 at 7:44 am
Thanks for venting what I think everyday Kev. I walk to work too and when I ride I follow your rules. It’s just common courtesy. Of course, I’ve come to realize that common coutesy is something I only find in countries outside of North America.
August 17th, 2005 at 5:14 pm
I would appreciate it if anyone who might read this would write to me at caleb@eaglecom.net or call me at 785-625-6551 to tell me the origin/purpose of the mock road sign which can be seen in Quebec, showing a car running over a bicyclist/jogger/soccer-player, with the superscription: “Ce Pourrait Etre Le Votre.” I would like to know all the details about the sign: who created it, why, the person it is intended to depict if any, the political campaign it was associated with, if any, etc.. Thank you very much for your help. Sincerely yours, Caleb Boone, Attorney at Law, Suite 304, 1200 Main Street, Post Office Box 188, Hays, Kansas 67601, U.S.A.. Telephone Number: 786-625-6551; Fax Numbebr: 785-625-7733; Car Number: 785-623-0023; electronic address: caleb@eaglecom.net
August 19th, 2005 at 8:18 am
What makes you think it is mock?
Admittedly, my french ain’t great, but “This could be yours” or “this could belong to you” would seem to indicate a loved one getting crushed by a car.
October 24th, 2005 at 2:31 pm
Caleb Boone is just looking for ANY excuse to try to get a case and sue somebody - he’s a typical attorney. You can do a search for Caleb Boone on Google and come up with info showing he is an attorney on supervised probation. That can be read at http://www.kscourts.org/kscases/supct/2003/20030418/89372.htm. Don’t trust him…
October 24th, 2005 at 4:58 pm
your linkee no workee
October 26th, 2005 at 6:56 am
Try this one: http://www.kscourts.org/kscases/supct/2003/20030418/89372.htm You can find anything out on the internet…
November 5th, 2005 at 10:30 pm
I’m a cyclist and we aren’t all bad : )but I do agree with many of your points. Whenever I see someone do #1 I smack my head in disbelief. I also though see a lot of drivers signal right but then see me and leave lots of space to their right for me to move up the inside. Of course I want to pass them on the left and it would be much easier to do so if they moved further right.
2 bothers me immensely when I walk. I always yield to pedestrians (but the ones that dash out from behind a parked car as if I can defy physics and stop for them on a dime when I’m going 30+ kph piss me off) Today I had to yell STOP at a cyclist while crossing at a green light on foot (he blew the red) and then on the return trip nearly got run over by cyclists on the sidewalk. Doh!
As for opening car doors, dunno where you are in Ontario anyway its illegal to open a car door into traffic. Obviously good though to cycle in a way someone else’s inattention won’t throw you off your bike into the path of a moving bus.
December 8th, 2005 at 4:40 pm
I hate cars when I’m cycling, and self-righteous cyclists at all other times. You’re wrong about wearing underwear with bike shorts though; leaving it on is a recipe for chafing.