O O Ø O O O O
Cheers!
As you all know, we generally give our elected representatives a bit of a hard time around these parts. I’ve been feeling a might poorly about it, and wanted to make up for it in some small fashion. What better way to do so than to sing their praises right here in our little corner of the world wide weeb. So, to all our elected local, provincial, and federal representatives, I salute you!
To Mr. Stephen Harper, I applaud your incredible sense of timing. You should have been a comedian, sir, for your delivery would do well on stage. After waiti ng a couple weeks for the hubbub around the softwood lumber to die out completel y while the people who actually kn ow what’s going on get back to negotiating, you go stick your foot in it again. We’ve all been dealing with the US for a long enough time to k now that this is the way they operate. That’s life, and perhaps you noticed that little storm they had which will require some building materials that we seem t o have. Perhaps the bargaining position has changed a little, no? Despite missin g this memo, you championed a cause without even bothering to ask if the folks m ost affected by it wanted it championed. You go, girl, and show Goliath who Davi d really is!
To Premier Dalton McGuinty, I congratulate you on your ability to learn from your peers in Qué and one-upping it. It seems you’ve managed to make people forget that Ontario’s real problem is the bloated administration you’ve inherited, and that you’ve done sweet dick all to try and fix it. Instead, you’ve distracted everyone by pointing out that a province that you’ve never lifted a finger to help now has some money, and that if they just shared, we’d all be in better shape. Nicely done, and it’s great to see how you upped it even more by turning it into a national issue instead of a provincial one. Thank you for solving all our problems this way, I know that if you get blood from a stone you’ll do great things, because your track record is impeccable. Oh, please don’t forget to go after Newfoundland, too, they’ve got energy cash as well, and I’d hate to miss out on any opportunity to take what’s not necessarily ours.
To my local representative, Mr. Georges Bédard, I commend you on your adoption of techniques used by large call centres in dealing with your constituency. Your cutting-edge technique of answering queries with vague, non-commital form letters that acknowledge receipt and imply, but do not promise, investigation fills my heart with warm, fuzzy feelings. It’s incredibly satisfying to know how little you care, as it will make it that much easier for me to vote against you in the next election. Thank you for this assistance, and here’s to all those annoying safety problems working themselves out when my two-year-old neighbour wanders iinto the street and gets mowed down by an idiot in a rice-burner who didn’t think twice about who he was endangering, because traffic enforcement is limited to low-hanging fruit.
To Mr. Paul Martin, thanks for shutting the fuck up. I appreciate it, and am glad to see that there’s finally someone who understands that whatever comes out of their mouth is a lie, and talking around those lies after the fact is an awful lot of effort for no good return. If everyone else went for efficiency over quantity, we’d be in a lot better shape. Thanks for not bothering to buy me dinner before you screw me, I won’t feel quite as dirty when it happens.
A bang-up job, from some bang-up folks. Keep it up, you’re the reason why democracy works, and why I have as much faith in our system as I do!
Kev Needham
September 20, 2005
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September 21st, 2005 at 9:06 am
I would like to thank the Justice system in Manitoba for making the roads safe from drunk drivers. real deterent - get into a traffic accident, kill 2 people, and refuse a breathalizer - and get an 18 month suspended sentence. This seems to be the norm and not the exception either - there have been a couple other cases like this.
http://www.madd.ca/english/news/stories/n05sep09.htm
September 26th, 2005 at 12:08 pm
I would like to thank Premier Ralph Klein for dipping into the provincial coffers and giving away the money before the other provinces figure out how to get a cut. $400 or whatever in my pocket is much better than putting the money into infrastructure such as roads and stuff because those projects tend to be bloated, run over budget and result in something that needs upgrading in a few years anyway. Putting the money in my pocket allows it to get back into the economy immediately via our local pubs and such! They will be very happy to hear they have indirect support from our government! Well done.
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