O O Ø O O O O
26 Days to Go
Did you ever think that fifty parking spots for a sixty-thousand square foot store might not be enough? Maybe you should.
Yes, I’m here to shop. Yes, I know what I’m looking for. No, I don’t have any questions that you can answer right now, I just walked in the door.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to glare at your knee-high miscreants who seem intent on breaking 140dB with their shrieks while you pretend like nothing’s happening. I mometarily forgot that because you have kids, common courtesy doesn’t apply.
No, I don’t want to know about the service plan.
Yes, that was my knee you just ripped to shreds with your wayward shopping cart. It’s ok, I needed some corrective surgery, anyways.
You don’t work on commission? That’s fabulous! So… why are you pushing the service plans again?
You know, the Xbox 360 display is not a babysitter, no matter how well it works at home.
Gosh, those novelty barking-dog Christmas carols playing over the PA system sure are funny the 47th time in a row.
No thank you, a gift card kind of locks people into buying from your store. If I can’t figure out what to give someone, I’ll just give them cash or booze, it says “you’re way too hard to buy for” just as well.
See that shelf of merchandise? Please notice that my gaze was affixed on said shelf. Also notice that I can no longer see said shelf because you have interposed your fat ass between it and me. It’s ok, I feel better knowing that you can see it just fine.
Please know you are the fourteenth different rep to approach me in the past ten minutes. You are making me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. I don’t want your help. I don’t want a service plan. If I had questions I thought you could answer, I’d ask them. I hate to be rude, but please, fuck right off.
Why sure you can have a look at all my stuff and put your intials on all the price tags to let people know that I’ve been helped. I’m sure your customer-focused attention had nothing to do with the fact that I picked out a grand of stuff without someone’s assistance, because couldn’t possibly work on commission or quotas.
Your customer check-out line sure looks like a cattle run, funny that.
sigh
Thank god there’s still oodles of time to procrastinate.
Kev Needham
November 29, 2005
OOØOOOODCCXXXII
November 30th, 2005 at 1:23 pm
If you are one of those people that really get stressed when going Xmas shopping then you should buy what you can online. Yeah the return issue can be more challenging, but hopefully this never arises. You can compare prices without going out: ok you may miss some in store specials, but your blood pressure is worth more than a few bucks. No parking problems, no gas wasted, you can still earn all your Whichever Plan Miles and sometimes shipping is free! Remember its the thought that counts, not the effort and stress involved.
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November 30th, 2005 at 7:21 pm
xmas shopping is supposed to be done by dec 1 :)
November 30th, 2005 at 11:36 pm
I find the malls are pretty pleasant around Dec 23rd. Just me and the bad parents out shoppin’.
December 2nd, 2005 at 9:16 am
LOL!! Dude…sounds like you were in BestBuy?! I hate that store and rude people suck.
December 2nd, 2005 at 12:18 pm
Wow, I really hope Steve doesn’t read what you said about him and little B.
December 3rd, 2005 at 11:57 am
Come on. You can’t ALL be “me”.
December 8th, 2005 at 5:50 pm
The majority of shopping should be done in one day. Beef jerkey, beer and cigars.