O O Ø O O O O
The Switch
It sure would be easier on me if Canada had actually switched to the Metric system.
I noticed it the other day, when I went to the hardware store to buy some wire (14/3, if you’re interested) and the kind gentleman helping me asked “how many Metres?”
That got me. I needed 12 feet. It hadn’t even occurred to me to convert it. That seems a little odd, since I’ve lived my whole life post-metrification.
I’m renovating, you see, and if you’re not from parts North American, you might not be aware that in Canada, building products are almost entirely sold using Imperial (well, American) units. Studs are installed on 16-inch centres. Drywall comes in 4×8-foot sheets. Floor tiles are 12-inches square. The saw blade kerf is 1/8 of an inch. My tape measure irritates me because it has metric along one edge, which simply interferes with your ability to read the imperial measurement (since that’s inevitably what you’ll be building to anyway).
In other words, there’s nothing metric about it.
Of course, the building industry isn’t the only holdout. Ask a friend what kind of mileage (kilometerage?) her car gets, and you’ll get an answer in miles per gallon. (And I can see why. The metric equivalent—litres per 100km—doesn’t even measure the same thing)
Don’t get me started on height. Or weight.
And once I noted my failed metrification, I began to notice it everywhere. I went to get a coffee this morning, and it was sold in ounces. (Usually, of course, I go to Starbucks, where it is sold in made-up-Starbucks units: tall = small; grandè = medium; and venti = large. And what’s with that backwards accent on grandè. What self-respecting Canadian pronounces “è” as “eh” ?) I looked at the topographical map on my wall, and noticed the elevations marked in feet. I went to heat up my leftover soup, and realized my oven reads only in Farenheit.
And today, when I went to the Ship for my weekly brew, I noticed the most flagrant one of all.
I ordered a beer, and it came in a pint.
Now, I’m not one to argue with the appropriateness of serving beer in pints. (Like, duh. This is Pintday.org.) But the non-metrification of our favourite drinking unit has one serious disadvantage. Namely, that if I walk into a random pub in Canada, and order myself a pint of beer, I really have no idea how much I will be getting.
In a good pub, it will be a 20oz pint (British Imperial). (And yes, the Ship is a good pub.)
In a wannabe pub, it will be a 16oz pint. (American Imperial)
In a crappy pub, it can be as little as 14oz. (Totally-made-up-imperial)
A glass, of course, is 12oz. But if you buy your beer at the liquor store, you get either 12 british ounces (341ml, standard serving size for bottles), or 12 American ounces (355ml, standard serving size for cans).
Now, I’m willing to live without metric in an old house. I’m willing to live without metric in an old car. I’m willing to live without metric in the coffee shop. But when you start shorting me on my beer? That’s when I start to get a little testy.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time we finished the switch. Call up your MP. Demand metrification—not for your children; not for science; but for your weekly brew. There’s an election on. Make it an issue. (God knows we could use one).
After all, what’s the point of democracy if you can’t get a full beer on a Tuesday?
Kjell Wooding
January 3, 2006
OOØOOOODCCXXXVII
January 4th, 2006 at 8:34 am
Amen brother. Though a metric “pint” would be a half litre (at least it is in Germany), which in fact is smaller than a 20 oz UK pint by a whopping 68 ml! Are you sure this is what you really want???
January 5th, 2006 at 1:23 pm
If it meant we could standardize on an actual pint, then I’m all for sacrificing the 68ml, for which we would obviously be compensated.
January 5th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
Even Starbucks is doing it to you. Think about Venti. As in 20. As in ounces.
January 6th, 2006 at 10:30 pm
Those imperial bastards.
Or “bastardi,” perhaps.
January 10th, 2006 at 11:34 pm
I did wonder about the sign in the Cat ‘n Fiddle that reads “we serve 20 oz pints”. I wondered how many pints could there be. I quickly remembered that the people in the USA probably couldn’t stand to share the same size pint as Britain.
February 9th, 2006 at 8:36 am
the people in USA probably don’t even know. it would be culture shock!
j/k… I’m an American (meaning i’m from north america, because south america doesn’t matter)
j/k… whoa! this is too much fun! please don’t hate me!
seriously though, i’m enjoying a 3 year tour in europe and most of it makes me want to go home. does that make sense?
February 9th, 2006 at 8:37 am
my honest hope is that no one will even read this crap i post