Eyes!
This has come up on more than one Tuesday.
I think it needs to be addressed, lest it further detract from my sustained message of less government, more freedom, and better beer.
Yes, I have a hairy chest. No, I don’t mean to emphasize it. Yes, it tends to creep up around the hollow of my neck, past my shirt collar. No, I’m not self conscious about it, and I don’t think it’s inappropriate or unprofessional. Yes, it’s seasonal. No, it’s not going to change.
Frankly, I’m surprised it’s even come up. I’m 33 years old, and except for that one missed Tuesday in Budapest in 1996 when I was too hungover from drinking Bull’s Blood the day before, the veteran of 755 Pint Days. I can honestly say I have never investigated whether or not another dude had a hairy chest. (Time spent in Italy—where the æsthetic is different—or in the parking lot of Wal-Mart—where the genetics are skewed—doesn’t count.)
I stated this was seasonal. It doesn’t come up all the time because I wear an undershirt for the duration of the winter, and it’s less noticable. When the temperature creeps up however, or when I wear a scoop-necked collar under my button-down, I tend to show a little more more patch—as the kids call it—than at other times of the year.
Some people are just born with certain physical traits, such as flat fleet, a pointy nose, or a hairy upper trunk. (In my case, all three.)
I’m not a Scandinavian Ken-doll, or a 20-something waxy guy. I’m neither genetically nor culturally predisposed to hairless torsos. Just as my wife is disinclined to wax her bikini line, I am unlikely to affect a Brazilian collar.
Let me be clear: As an architect, ties are forbidden to me. My shirt has one button undone. Deal.
Returning to my point about eliminating this particular distraction, the next time you see me with my collar open, remember the message:
Evan. Hairy. Government doesn’t work.
ev · PDDCCLV
May 10th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
This will all be fixed when you start wearing the corporate-issue turtleneck-and-scarf.