Web Star: pd.o

Harangue for fun and profit.

Evan Spence | 2006-07-11

From: Kev Needham
To: Evan, Kjell
Date: Jul 4, 2006 9:00 PM
Subject: I’m done

Hey gents,

After several months of limping along, I think I am truly done. I have tried for almost two weeks to write something I’m happy with, yet find myself on Tuesday at 11pm with absolutely nothing. I’m sick of it.

It’s not like I’ve been leaving it to the last minute of late, it’s that I cannot—for the life of me—come up with anything I’m passionate about. I just don’t give a rat’s ass anymore.

I like writing, but I haven’t done any in months. You folks make me think, and make me laugh, and I can’t see anything funny or remotely intelligent in what I’ve written of late.

I’ll try and get something out this eve, but after this I think it’s best if you pull me out of the rotation.

—Kev

And with that homily to the male menstrual cycle, the venerable pd.o—the old grey lady of the web—finds herself down to her original two orators.

We know from experience that a fortnightly rotation is an unforgiving mistress. As Kevin has demonstrated, even taking the podium every three weeks is a tough row to hoe. (Sometimes, it’s all we can do to keep from talking about our balls.)

Calling Randy Wooding

So, like every other organization in Calgary, we’re recruiting. Unlike Calgary companies however, there’s no signing bonus, no benefit plan, and no company car. All we offer is dialogue and the ritualization of a periodic pint.

If you feel like you’re up to the challenge of discharging your spleen in this space every three weeks, send us your best rant. Assuming the response to this version of The Internet Has Talent isn’t a tumbleweed blowing through Kjell’s server room, we’ll post the best articles we receive over the next several weeks. Entries will be judged by Kjell, the outgoing Kev, and me. The prize will be you get to keep doing it until we burn you out too. There’s probably also a beer in it along the way.

As a hint, our editorial format can be summed up in two statements:

  1. It’s not a blog.
  2. No semicolons.

If you need more direction than that, you haven’t been reading. Entries will be judged on the following categories, not in any particular order:

  1. Wit and humour
  2. Sarcasm, satire, and tongue-in-cheekedness
  3. Spelling and grammar (Don’t make the editors cranky.)
  4. Originality (Do we really need another air travel rant?)
  5. Style (It would be nice to have some around here for a change.)
  6. Random Undisclosed Criterium

Hailing the Pint Day Nation

Go to it. Mail all entries to me.

Just think, all this glamour could be yours.

(Nota bene, I’m serious about the semicolons, and am willing to exercise my security council veto to disqualify anyone who thinks they’re a good way to structure a sentence.)

Evan Spence

July 11, 2006
OOØOOOODCCLXII

7 Responses to “Web Star: pd.o”

  1. priior Says:
    July 12th, 2006 at 9:20 am

    out with the old; in with the new.

    we will miss the old.

  2. j2 Says:
    July 12th, 2006 at 9:25 am

    ;;;; ;;;,

    ;;;;; ;;;;;;;; ;; ;;;;;;;;;;; ;; ;;;; ;;;;. ;;;; ;;;;; ;; ;;;;;;;.

    ;;;;;, ;.

  3. Evan Says:
    July 13th, 2006 at 7:16 pm

    I don’t understand the comment, but since I see it as ascii art of j2 giving me (or maybe Kev?) the finger, I’ll let it stand.

  4. Weebo Says:
    July 14th, 2006 at 4:40 pm

    Damn. I thought the last few rants by Kev were really good. It’s a shame to see him go.

  5. Doctor Jekyll Says:
    July 14th, 2006 at 9:49 pm

    Kev, I searched my database and found a couple of my favorite lines from you. Thanks for making me not feel my rage against the stupidity in the world was a lone pulse in my forehead.

    The quotes are:

    I’m not sitting beside you because I want to, I’m sitting beside you because my ticket has seat number “17″ on it, and yours has seat number “18″.

    When I ask you to be quiet it means I’m getting close to knocking your teeth out.

    It’s ok to be stupid, it’s not ok to let everyone in on that fact.

  6. kev Says:
    July 19th, 2006 at 11:51 am

    Hey folks,

    Thanks much for the kind words, they’re very much appreciated. I had me some fun, and am glad you got some giggles and the like out of it, too. I’ll continue to hang around, I’m sure, I’ll just be sniping from the peanut gallery in the comments :)

    Thanks again, it’s been a slice :)

  7. Bighair Says:
    July 26th, 2006 at 12:39 pm

    Hey Kev I’m sorry to see you go. You brought your own original slice of eastern/center of the universe humor to PDO. Take care. Bighair

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