O O Ø O O O O
Cargo Cult Capitalists
I was a little hungry late last night, so I flipped open my trusty Yellow PagesTM to the “pizza” section, and started dialing.
“(unpronouncable) pizza. How can I help you.”
“Hi. I was wondering how much for a pair of medium pizzas.”
“Uh, we’re actually closed.”
“So why are you answering the phone?”
“We have to.”
“Okay. That’s stupid. Hypothetically, if I could order a pizza, what would it cost?”
“Uh, that depends.”
“Hypothetically, if I wanted a medium pizza, how much would it cost?”
“For one topping? $15.99. For two toppings, $16.99. For three toppings…”
“So, it’s an extra dollar for each topping?”
“Uh, Yes.”
“Ok. Thanks?”
It was clear that the big picture was lost on this pizza place. If you are open, but you are not actually selling anything anymore, then you are not open. Some might go so far as to call you closed. No, at this pizza joint, instead of the big picture, there was but an arbitrary rule: thou shalt answer the phone until 11pm.
Sadly, I see this complete neglect for the big picture everywhere. One of my favourite examples is Indigo—also known as the “only bookstore left in Canada.” Like it’s brethren, Indigo has a shipment tracking feature on their website. If you remember, web-based package tracking was a feature innovated by Fedex, who turned the shipping model inside-out. Why should the customers be treated to anything but the actual package tracking system, asked Fedex, and they proceeded to make a lot of money as a result. Ever since, the rest of the online shipping world has been imitating them, unfortunately, usually without a clue as to why.
Case in point: two weeks ago I ordered a pair of books from Indigo. Last week, I received exactly one of these books. Thankful for the convenience of package tracking, I immediately went online to see if, for some mysterious reason, my shipment was split up and shipped in separate parts. Their package tracker was pretty clear on the subject:
Order Number: OR902108675309
Shipping Method: Free Ship - Standard Delivery
Date of Event Time Location Description Signatory Name
2006/12/13 10:40 CALGARY, AB Item successfully delivered to Receiver
2006/12/13 10:40 CALGARY, AB Item out for delivery
2006/12/06 21:47 MISSISSAUGA, ON In transit to the post office
There was no mention of a second package. So, I got on the phone. And in speaking with the nice lady on the phone, was informed that there of course there was a second package.
“But your web site doesn’t mention that fact.”
“Well, no.”
“But what good is a ‘track your package’ feature on your web site if it doesn’t actually track your package?”
“I don’t know.”
“Ok. Thanks?”
I was reading the latest press release from Tivo, telling me about the wonderful new features in their latest Digital Video Recorder—features like the one where you are shown a commercial while you are busy fast-forwarding past commercials, and then the awful truth hit me. It didn’t matter how crappy the lastest “update” to Tivo’s software was. We still can’t buy them in Canada—nearly 10 years after they were first released. The greatest revolution in the television industry since the invention of the VCR, and we still can’t buy them in this great country of ours.
The problem, I would guess, is that capitalism doesn’t work in the edge cases. Labour shortages in Calgary mean that the service industry takes what it gets. If the cook won’t cook past 10, then you don’t serve pizzas past 10, even if your ad in the yellow pages says you’re open until 11. Oligopolies in the bookselling and cable industries mean that companies need only maintain an appearance of competing.
“Of course we’re open until 11. We just won’t serve you past 10.”
“Sure you can buy a PVR—any brand as long as it’s ours.”
“Even if the package tracking doesn’t really offer any value, we’ll put the link on our web site so we seem more Amazon-like”
Is it me, or is the Canadian capitalism like some kind of cargo-cult?
Kjell Wooding
December 20, 2006
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December 20th, 2006 at 11:58 am
I think this nails it right there. There’s next to no competition in Canada. Why innovate or actually deliver what you appear to be delivering if you don’t have to?
December 22nd, 2006 at 7:33 am
It’s true. I was really hoping that whole “internet thing” would make a difference up here, but there are surprisingly few vendors that will actually ship (hassle-free) north of the border, putting us back in oligopoly territory in most markets.
And in Calgary, add an insane labour shortage on top of all that. It’s crazy around here.