Customer Support

Less fun than a kick in the jibblies.

Alan Silvester · April 3, 2007

I’ve been putting a phone call off for awhile, but now I really need to suffer through it. You see, back in December the cooling fan in my still shiny, new HP laptop began acting up. By acting up, I mean it rattles louder than the muffler heat shields on my parents’ car.

I started off by emailing HP’s customer support team to get it fixed under warranty.

Select a problem area hardware
When did you purchase your product? Jun 2006
What is your serial number (SN)? (censored)
What is your operating system (OS)? other
What is your model/product series number? (censored)
Was the CD writer or DVD writer installed in your PC when you bought it or did you add it later? CD/DVD originally installed on PC
If there is an error message, please specify.
Please provide the exact problem description. The cooling fan is failing. Right now, it rattles and buzzes whenever it needs to spin up. If the computer is idle, the fan is usually quiet, but occasionally there is a slight rattle.
Has anything changed since the unit functioned properly (installation of SW, settings, cabling, etc.). No, the fan just started rattling when I turned the laptop on about a week ago.
Define your technical skill area: advanced

Weeee, that was fun. I was pleasantly surprised: they replied to me the next day.

Dear Alan,

Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.

I understand from your mail that the cooling fan in your HP pavilion notebook is making rattling sound.

I realize the importance of your issue and I appreciate the opportunity to assist you in this regard.

Alan, please perform the steps below and check if the issue persists.

Step 1: Set the BIOS to defaults: BIOS controls the fan, so setting the BIOS defaults may resolve the issue.

(remaining boring details skipped)

If this does not resolve the issue, please try the next step.

Step 2: Update the BIOS : Please go to the link below and perform the instructions given to update your BIOS.

(more skippage)

If you have further questions, please reply to this message and we will be happy to help you.

And now I am less pleasently surprised. Sigh… I had to leave town for a couple days, but at least they didn’t forget about me.

Hi Owen,

> I am personally following up on your e-mail, as we have not heard from > you since our last communication.

Sorry, I was out of town for a couple of days.

Reloading the default BIOS settings did not help and I am unable to update the BIOS using the program you provided a link to. I do not have a copy of Windows installed on this laptop; it is strictly running Ubuntu Linux 6.06 LTS.

–Alan

Finally, success!

Dear Alan,

Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.

I gather from your email that you are not able to update the BIOS.

I am glad to help you in this regard.

Alan, its evident from your email that it needs to be repaired. Please contact the Canadian phone support from the number given below and they will assist you further for service.

Canadian Phone support: 1-(800)-633-3600, 1-(800)-474-6836, 24 Hours a Day, 7 Days a Week for Most Products.

If you need further assistance, please reply to this message and we will be happy to assist you further.

They also seem to like the word “further.” So I phone the customer support line, listen to the muzak for a good hour or so, and eventually get transferred to an overseas call centre. Awesome. After explaining the situation with the fan, I give them my name, address, phone number, serial number, part number, favourite colour, pet’s name, shoe size and a few other chunks of information. “Great,” I think, “they’re about to take my laptop in for service.”

But, no, it wasn’t to be.

“Alright, Mr. Silvester, I just need to check a few things first. My system says you are running Windows XP Home. Have you installed all of the updates?”

“No, I’m running Linux, but this is a hardware issue.”

“I’m sorry, we can’t offer support for your laptop. You need to have Windows installed.”

“The cooling fan is failing, I just need a new one. This has nothing to do with updating my Windows drivers”

“I’m sorry, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Well, that was a waste of an afternoon; let’s go back to email support.

Hi,

I have contacted HP’s Canadian phone support and they have refused to help me because I am running a Linux operating system. As mentioned in the email thread below, this is a hardware problem: the CPU cooling fan is failing. The laptop is under warranty, having updated Windows drivers WILL NOT fix this problem, and I would like to have my laptop sent in to have the fan replaced.

–Alan

Maybe that will do something.

Dear Alan,

Thank you for writing to us.

I gather from your email that the Canadian phone support refused to help since you have changed the Operating system.

I am glad to help you in this regard.

Alan, please perform the steps given below.

Dust, cigarette ash, pet hair, and other particles can accumulate on or inside the notebook PC. When this happens, they form a layer of grime that can scratch or shorten the life of hardware components by causing overheating. Cleaning the notebook PC can extend its life by getting rid of this potentially damaging buildup. Cleaning the system once a year as part of a regular maintenance program is recommended.

Clean the Cooling Vents:

(snippage)

Please get back to us with the result so that we can assist you further.

Okay, I’ll humour them and get a can of air.

Hi Vincent,

I have now dusted out the laptop, but the fan still rattles quite loudly.

–Alan

The next day:

Dear Alan,

Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.

I understand how important it is in having this issue resolved at once, please accept my apologies for any inconvenience this issue may have caused.

Alan, I would like to inform you to please get back to us with your contact details so that we can create a case and then you can refer that case number to the canadian phone support team and get your laptop picked up for repair.

The canadian phone support telephone would be 1-800-474-6836.

Please get back to us with the following details: (snippy-snip-snip)

Well, I’m slowly getting somewhere.

Dear Alan,

Thank you for contacting HP Total Care.

Alan, I would like to inform you that a case has been created with the case number (censored). I would request you to callup the canadian phone telephone support at 1-800-474-6836, give them the case # so that they can pickup your notebook for service repair.

If you need further assistance, please reply to this message and we will be happy to assist you further.

Calling this number, somehow I actually get a North American call centre!

“Have you applied all of the BIOS and Windows drivers updates?”

“Yup”

“How long ago was that?”

“Updated everything last night.”

“Great. I just need to talk with my supervisor and we can send out a box for you to mail your laptop to us in.”

So everything thing worked out in the end…

… no, wait! No it didn’t! It’s been about a week now and my box still hasn’t arrived! So I have to go through the pleasure of phone support one more time. And how long have I been on this phone, listening to cheezy muzak?

Long enough to compose, correct, add links to, and HTML-ize this entire rant.

Alan Silvester · PDDCCCX

Comments (2) »

2 Responses to “Customer Support”

  1. Bighair Says:

    Man they got the comments working! I like how the first thing to diagnose the problem is to look at your bios when it’s most likely the bearing has gone in the fan…Of course the annual maintenance even though it sounds funny is pretty true. The internal dust buildup in machines is horrible. If they can’t access the bios they will likely reimage the machine. What do they do with your data when they do that I wonder.

    Best of luck and here’s hoping it pulls through.

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