O O Ø O O O O
Advice to Youth, About 2007
Recent events—namely, the arrival of our newest, smallest Pint Day Saint—have me thinking of the next generation. We have a lot of accumulated experience here at the pd.o, and it would be a shame if the accumulated heft of our prose was somehow left languish unread. Thus, I find myself revisiting some of our more popular themes. And to borrow a turn of phrase from the good Mr. Twain: “first then. I will say to you my young friends—and I say it beseechingly, urgingly—”
Music is not property. Sing it. Share it. Play it. Pay the appropriate royalties when you find yourself getting compensated for it, but no sooner. Experience music live. Buy music from artists, and avoid the radio at all costs.
Respect the laws. Bad things can happen to you when you break them. There is no need to respect the lawmakers, however. In fact, I recommend you rail against them at every opportunity, at least until they make that illegal, too—then you must leave. Good government is less government.
Respect your parents (and your god-uncles, twice removed). They really do know everything, at least until you are 18. If you fail to heed this important piece of advice, then your antics might show up on the pd.o, and believe me, you do not want that to happen. Just ask Yoda, or any of our multitudinous Abercrombie ‘droids.
Travel—it really does broaden the mind. And though air travel tends to broaden certain other portions of your anatomy also (in particular, certain orifices), it is very much worth the short-term discomfort.
Celebrate Tuesdays. Many people throughout your life will extol the virtues of weekends, of Fridays, and possibly even Wednesdays. They are all wrong. The other days all have something going for them: on Monday you still feel residually human from the weekend; Wednesday you are over the hump; Thursday is the day before Friday; and Friday, well, they don’t exactly call the restaurant TGI Tuesday’s, now did they? Tuesday needs to be celebrated, and doing so will improve your quality of life immeasurably.
Don’t be a quitter. Nobody likes a quitter. Having said that, please don’t mistake this piece of advice for “don’t quit.” Quitting can be a wonderful, liberating experience, especially when done on a Tuesday. In fact, just about everything is better when done on a Tuesday. I say just about, because we are all—your mom especially—glad you chose not to wait the extra few days to make your appearance.
Finally, read. I realize by the time you are capable of doing so, the notion of printed words on a page will seem nearly as antiquated as paintings on a cave wall, but this quaint little skill will take you places you cannot imagine. Also, it may draw you to writing, which means that one day you may be able to fill in around here. Believe me, we could use the break.
“But I have said enough. I hope you will treasure up the instructions which I have given you, and make them a guide to your feet and a light to your understanding. Build your character thoughtfully and painstakingly upon these precepts, and by and by, when you have got it built, you will be surprised and gratified to see how nicely and sharply it resembles everybody else’s.”
At least, everybody around the pd.o.
Welcome, little one. Enjoy the ride.
Kjell Wooding
June 12, 2007
OOØOOOODCCCXXV
August 15th, 2007 at 1:34 am
Wow! I wondered what the reason for the slacking in the last month or so was about. Now I know. Lambs.
Get “Sheep in a Jeep” it’s the best board book ever, and the best of the “Sheep in a…” in the series.
Don’t know about everyone else, but I will understand that Pd.O. will come second (or maybe even closer to last) from now on.
Congrats!
~psheep