Dear Santa, 2008
Dreaming of sugarplums is so much more vivid in 1080p.
Santa Claus
North Pole, Canada
H0H 0H0
Dear Santa;
I know it’s been a few years since I’ve written—the darn thesis has been getting in the way again—but I wanted to drop you a quick line and let you know what you can get me for Christmas this year. In fact, you can get it for a lot of us.
We need a bailout.
Don’t worry though. I’m not thinking that the North Pole Conglomerate needs to invest in GM. No, I think I have an idea that will get this old economy working all by itself. The key to getting out of a recession is spending. We all need to spend more. In particular, we need to help our American bretheren—the guys in the actual recession—by buying their stuff.
Please Santa, let us buy their stuff for Christmas.
It doesn’t even have to be new stuff. Even their old crap would be nice. Tivo, for instance, would be really keen. I know, Tivo finally started selling units a whole year ago in Canada (a mere 8 years after it launched south of the 49), but the only ones they let us have are the dual-tuner analog cable ones. That’s because Canada doesn’t have any kind of open-access digital cable standard. No CableCARD means no digital TiVo units. Of course, that means no High-Def TiVo units either, but that shouldn’t be a problem—we don’t really have High-def content up here anyway.
Actually, that reminds me: Santa, do you think we could get some High-Def up here? They seem to make a lot of it south of the border—in fact, they’re going all-HD in February—we’re just not allowed to buy it. Try it on iTunes one of these days. They have any TV episode you want, so long as you have an American credit card. We poor Canadians are shut out, unless you want to watch Little Mosque on the Prairie—in standard def.
As an aside—Santa, could you maybe cancel Little Mosque?
You know, Santa, if there’s some problem with us buying things outright, maybe we could just be allowed to stream High-def content? You know, like what Hulu, Netflix, ESPN360, and even even ABC are doing?
No?
Santa, do you have some kind of High-def tin-can-and-string thing I could use?
Seriously, anything’s better than what we’ve got now.
Anyway, back to the bailout thing. It looks to me like our friends to the south have some really nice stuff—all high-def and technological. We could probably help them with their little recession problem if we were allowed to buy some of it.
Just a thought. Anyway, I have to go. Little Mosque is on, in all its glorious 480p low-definess.
Yours Truly,
kj · PDDCCCXC
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