The Shark

History Repeats.

kj · May 4, 2010

Apple has jumped the shark.

Yes, I’m willing to say it—and yes, now, when Apple is poised to revolutionize computing again, making everything touchable, mobile, and user-unservicable. I imagine, Gruber’s going to mock me, and big Steve is going to order my phone remotely bricked. I don’t care, because I get the distinctive evil vibe that I remember all-too-well from before. Back in the early days. Back before Microsoft destroyed the software business.

Yes, the iPad is cool. Yes, I own both an iPhone and a Macbook. Hell, I own an AppleTV—in Canada, where nobody ever bothers signing content deals. Apple technology can be fantastic. The attention to detail is (almost always) excellent. The stuff just works (unless it doesn’t), and Apple to mess with the status quo (which is fun unless you were depending on it to, say, make a living).

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying Apple stock is going to tank anytime soon. Apple is at the top of their game right now. But they have passed the point of no return. They have the evil gene, and they have started to use it. Write a story Apple doesn’t like? The cops will be breaking down your door and seizing your livelihood. (Would they do the same if it was my cellphone that was stolen, I wonder?)

I’m from the old school. I want to bend the computer to my will. I want to make it do things that I dream up. Like any toy, I want to take the thing apart, figure out how it works, and then make it do things it was never intended to do. Until recently, my toys have been designed for this. But now, Apple’s putting the kybosh on. Apple is welding the hood shut. You may have seen this, part of the latest revision to the iPhone/iPad developer’s agreement:

3.3.1 — Applications may only use Documented APIs in the manner prescribed by Apple and must not use or call any private APIs. Applications must be originally written in Objective-C, C, C++, or JavaScript as executed by the iPhone OS WebKit engine, and only code written in C, C++, and Objective-C may compile and directly link against the Documented APIs (e.g., Applications that link to Documented APIs through an intermediary translation or compatibility layer or tool are prohibited).

What this means, in English, is that wanna-be hackers like me have to do things Apple’s way. We can’t do things the way we want to do them. We can’t use the tools we want to use. Built a great shim later to your favourite programming language? Tough. When Apple says jump, you jump, or they take their toys away from you.

This behavior is evil. Big Steve has been spinning the issue to be about protecting the poor users from “poor quality apps,” but this is hilariously dishonest. If you want to protect me from garbage apps, how about issuing a refund when I discover the app I just purchased is a buggy piece of (natively-compiled) garbage with rigged reviews? It’s not about the end-user. It’s not even about controlling the end-user experience. it’s about maximizing profit. It’s about ruthlessly controlling every aspect of the device. It’s about shutting out third-party software developers (developers that helped Apple become the company that they are today). Changing the developer license two days before a product launch isn’t business—it’s spite. Blatantly stealing design ideas when you like them, but litigating the hell out of anyone who does the same to you—that’s evil.

Apple, you are not infallible. You get things wrong all the time. Until you started welding cases shut, your battery life sucked. Your laptop wall warts are horribly shoddy. You build Faraday cages around your computers. Your word processor don’t have auto-save. You don’t build computers anymore, so much as multipurpose media devices. So far, your products are cool enough that people overlook their glaring flaws, but cool will only get you so far.

The Fonz was cool once. Then he jumped that shark. History repeats.

kj · PDCMIII

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The Shark

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