O O Ø O O O O
If Pint Day Were A Rap Song
Our names are Evan Spence and Kjell Wooding.
Here at the pd.o, we’re so good at what we do, it makes all you others look like chumps. Never mind that we have no idea to whom this slight threat is addressed. We’re the baddest writers, by which we mean to say, we’re the best. If you mess with us—leaving aside for the moment what that might actually entail—you’ll be sorry.
To elaborate, any number of things might happen to you, possibly including, but not necessarily limited to the following:
- Getting messed up
- Getting totalled
- Getting your butt kicked
We mean these metaphorically, of course, as we’re generally anti-violence. Needless to say, you will be served.
Our names are Evan Spence and Kjell Wooding.
Having now ascertained the degree to which we are bad baddies (read: the baddest), let us now elaborate on our prowess with women.
We get more than sufficient women who are willing to have sexual relations with us apparently on account of our above-mentioned writing skill, coupled with the above average depth, girth and talent of our equipment. Forgetting entirely that one of us is married and the other is, well, presently an emotional cripple, you should envy our status as manhunks.
To rephrase, we get da bitches, wenches, hos, and all the rest of the women who go by derogatory names. Or we totally could, if we were so inclined. (Ha ha, just kidding honey. Kisses.)
Our names are Evan Spence and Kjell Wooding.
Where were we? We’ve mentioned our badassedness (don’t mess with the pd.o), and we’ve established the legendary dimensions and accomplishments of our ladygear, so that must leave our fiscal status.
We’ve got a couple of fine cribs, and our recent renovations—notwithstanding those still in progress—are super fly. We could elaborate on all the great stuff we have (at least two Playstations at last count), but suffice to say our pile of consumer items is impressive. It would be more impressive if one of us were more of a pack rat like the other, and less obsessed with design-focused operational minimalism, but whoah Stanley! what stuff we have.
Our names are Evan Spence and Kjell Wooding.
You will also be impressed to learn that this rant is a first take. That’s right: no rough draft. (Strictly speaking, that’s not true, but it’s somehow important to establish that our talent is derived from improbable and innate genius, not through hard work or attention to detail.)
So to recap: badass, bitches, cribs. First take, out.
You’ve never seen a site like this.
This is the only site like this.
Please allow me to reiterate the uniqueness of this site.
We the only pd.o
Bowidabangdegoobagoobawikiwiki, bowidabangdegoobagoobawikiwiki.
Evan Spence
May 8, 2007
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May 8th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
Dude, you need to change radio stations.
May 9th, 2007 at 8:53 am
That may be the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Probably because I envisioned Spence with Glasses and a thick gold chain around his neck.