Secret Agenda
The Eloise Letters, Part 4 of 10
The Right Honourable Stephen Harper
Office of the Prime Minister
80 Wellington Street
Ottawa K1A 0A2
Dear Mr. Harper:
There has always been plenty of whispering in this country about the Reform Party’s SECRET AGENDA. Perpetuated by the other mainstream parties and baldly supported by the pro-big-government media, the past 20 years of continuous, slanderous commentary has left the Canadian voting public predisposed to actually believing you have a SECRET AGENDA.
As leader of the successor party to the noble (if rudderless) Reform movement, you are the unhappy inheritor of these sotto voce insinuations.
In the pages of the weekly local entertainment fishwrap, and over the airwaves from the cakeholes of elected big government bullies, I have heard dire warnings of your secret agenda to:
- Sell off the National Parks
- Privatize Canada’s rivers
- Dismantle the (patently unconstitutional) Canada Health Act
- Destroy the CBC
As an interested observer of your party’s first year in power, please allow me to make two comments.
First, anyone who refers to your Conservatives as ultra right wing has obviously never seen an ultra right wing government in action. Lowering the progressive VAT by 1% and finalizing Canada’s acceptance of gay marriage are not hallmarks of ultra anything.
Second, after seeing the sort of big government policies your government prefers, I hope you do have a SECRET AGENDA, and I hope it is precisely as outlined above.
Here’s what I like to imagine:
- You continue your big government subterfuge.
- You win yourself a majority government by pandering to the milquetoast tax-and-spend masses in Ontario and Québec.
- You implement all of the above and much more, on your way to becoming Canada’s greatest reforming Prime Minister, and first true defender of liberty in Ottawa.
When I tucked in my daughter Eloise tonight, Mr. Harper, she gurgled happily and smiled shyly while holding my hand. I wonder if she was thinking of the same thing I was.
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March 26th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
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