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25 Things You’ve Always Wanted to Say at Work
- I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.
- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a fuck.
- How about “never”? Is “never” good for you?
- It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
- I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- Ahhh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
- I’m already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
- Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
- I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
- What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
- I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
- Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
- It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
- Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
- No, my powers can only be used for good.
- I’m really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
- You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication.
- I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
- Do you hear a buzzing noise? Oh wait, it’s just you talking.
- Who cares, I’m quitting anyways.